Dear Diary;
Less than 24 hours in and this place is already making me crazy. My mattress totally sucks and they only packed my itchy pajamas. Every time I crack open Fifty Shades of Grey, those asswipes at the office call with another question. The sisters won’t leave me the fuck alone, Wi-Fi is practically non-existent and they haven’t even opened the pool yet.

I gotta go find the sacramental wine stash. And call the contractor for an update on the house…