Dear Diary;
Having my own iPhone app made. People will be able to use it to send me prayer requests – for a few Euros each, of course. Pet requests would be extra, especially for cats. (I hate cats). After I pay that cocky little shit of a developer, it’ll hopefully bring in enough denaro to pay the liquor bills (the price of that top-shelf stuff is really pissing off my accountant).

Was gonna call it Pay-Pal (you know, like Pa•pal), but Sister Juanita told me that the name’s already been taken. Which is okay, since now that I know what it is I’m gonna use it to process the payments. Maybe I’ll call it Pimp My Pope. Or Pay to Pray. Or Benny-Dictions