Dear Diary;
This place stinks the big one. More rules than a freakin’ Turkish prison. Yesterday, I ordered chinese take-out and was told that ‘deliveries beyond gates of the Vatican are not permitted.’ Last night, I wanted to watch the director’s cut of The Godfather (that James Caan is such a hottie!), but was informed that ‘only PG13-rated films are permitted within the walls of Vatican City.’ WiFi is turned off precisely at midnight, I can’t wear my Pajama Jeans to Sunday Mass, and the kitchen staff still won’t let me have the good olives. Jesus!

They should rename this fuckin’ place VatiCANT City…