3/18/17

Dear Diary;
Spoke with Jorge last night about those spontaneous walks through the streets. It’s wreaking havoc with the Swiss Guard, who asked me to have a word with him about it. Turns out he doesn’t see what the big deal is. Says it’s making him wildly popular, and that he wants to be known as The People’s Pope. Sweet Jesus, I may have to start calling him Pope Diana…

Anyhow, since I have very little patience these days because my back is feeling the effects of that shit-ass mattress they’ve got on my bed, I made some snide comment about how it’s not like he can walk on fucking water and to just cut the crap.

Next thing you know, he’ll be diving off the balcony for a crowd surf…