THINGS I GOTTA DO THIS WEEK, when not I’m praying or doing other funner stuff:

  1. Bless new batch of garbanzo-bean rosaries for shipping.
  2. Send box of laminated, three-D, autographed Papal Prayer cards to the Sisters of the Holy Order of the Resurrection of Mercy of the Blessed Sacrament of Jesus, Inc.
  3. Poop (actually, this should be number 2).
  4. Return George Foreman grill (it stopped working when I dropped it last week, but I’ll leave out the dropping part when I return it).
  5. Confess and forgive myself for number 4.
  6. Download season 2 of Archer.
  7. Select coffin to match custom-carved sarcophagus.
  8. Delete browser history (ya never know…).
  9. Buy tickets to see The World’s End (Sister Juanita says it’s not religious, which is great because I’m pretty fuckin’ tired of Charlton Heston flicks).
  10. Post video on YouTube of Jorge and Mother Albertina twerking during last week’s TGI Meatless Friday Taco Fiesta.